What was even more unanticipated was the kind of award. Something from the psychology or psychotherapy world might have been expected, but I have been short-listed for an 'erotic award'!
For those who are not familiar with them, the Erotic Awards, initially called the Erotic Oscars, have been running since 1994. They were founded by Tuppy Owens Tuppy_Owens who is a sex therapist who campaigns particularly on issues of disability and sexuality, and the whole event raises funds for the charity, Outsiders, for disabled people and their relationships. My book explores the complicated and contradictory rules on relationships that we are subjected to in 21st century relationships.
Awards are presented presented to campaigners, films, writers, artists, publications and sex-workers, as well as to academics, like me. The Erotic Awards are an annual 'celebration of sexual creativity and diversity' with the goal of helping society become more open about sex and more accepting of sexual diversity.
The other academic finalists are Brooke Magnanti and Sue Newsome. Brooke Magnanti is a biological scientist who recently wrote the book The Sex Myth to counter prevailing myths about sex, sexuality and sex-work. Brooke also wrote the best-selling Belle de Jour series of books which were adapted for a BBC series featuring Billie Piper. I've met Brooke at a couple of events that I've been involved with and she is an extremely friendly and approachable person, as well as somebody who has done a lot of good challenging assumptions about sex and sex-work.
The other nominee, SueNewsome, is involved in a conference which I'm putting on for COSRT later this year. She is a sex coach, educator and therapist who is also involved with SHADA (the Sex and Disability Alliance) and does very important work in this field.
I'm guessing that my own work was nominated because, like Brooke's, part of its aim is to challenge assumptions and myths about sex and relationships. Also, one aspect of Rewriting the Rules is to counter conventional psychological work which often tries to explain less common sexual and relationship practices – instead of seeking to discover what can be learnt from people in diverse sexual and relationship communities.
This is important to me because it moves away from the idea that there are normal ways of doing things, and that any other way is strange and problematic, towards the idea that there is a great variety of possible sexual and relationship experiences and understandings possible, and that it is worth tuning in to those which work best for us, as well as reflecting upon the ethics of different possible practices and identities.
However I'm up against two very impressive co-nominees who both certainly deserve the award. We will see what happens on the night!
Meg Barker 17 May 2013
Meg Barker is a registered psychotherapist with the UK Council for Psychotherapy. She
- organises the conference programme for the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) as well as being on the editorial board of their journal and writing for their website,
- co-organises the Critical Sexology Group which presents open interdisciplinary seminars on sexuality in London three times a year
- co-edits the Taylor & Francis journal Psychology & Sexuality with Darren Langdridge and is on the editorial boards of Sexualities, Porn Studies, the Journal of Popular Romance Studies, and the European Journal of Ecopsychology.
Catch her Youtube presentations: 90 second lecture on sex therapy and introduction to bisexuality research in the UK
The views expressed in this post, as in all posts on Society Matters, are the views of the author, not The Open University.
Cartoon by Catherine Pain